I’m continuing to lose ground slowly in my battle. I’ve had to cut back on most of my activities — no driving, the distance of my morning and nightly walks has been cut in half, and my strength continues to erode, slowly but surely. But the pain is still under control, for the most part.
I’ve told you of the struggle to stay awake on the heavy doses of pain medications. A couple of days ago the Hospice doctor and nurse put me on Ridlin as an experiment to see if it would make more alert. I think I have noticed a change, but it just may be in my head! But I am hopeful that it will give me more clarity in my thinking and allow me to participate more completely in life.
I wish I could adequately express my appreciation to all of you for your responses on the blog, your email, cards, and prayers. These are what keep me going. It is humanly impossibly to write to each one of you, but I want to know that I read each one—several times—and they bolster my spirit.
I have worked with Anita and the children on my memorial services. One will be at Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church for those in the NE Florida area; and one in Atlanta for those in the Atlanta area (Second Ponce de Leon Baptist Church, Central Baptist Church Newnan, and the CBF Resource Center). Stay tuned for further details!
Thanks again for your love and prayers. Both are appreciated.
Click here to go to the newest entry on Along the Journey: Dealing with Anger.
38 comments:
Jack & Anita--
Obviously, time is short. Your choice of Second Ponce and Hendricks Avenue speaks volumns about your commitments and loves. I know both places and am impressed.
Leaving this life is but a passage to a greater world and I cannot wait to hear your stories when I and Lonya join you one day.
Keep the Faith, Baby!! We love you and pray for you daily that your journey to the "live above" be with minimal pain and maximal love from those who appreciate your spirit.
Gene & Lonya Scarborough
Dear Jack, even at this time you continue to teach! Please know that we all love you and Anita for all you both have taught us. You both show such grace through your actions and your word. We will all miss you dearly but know you will be free of pain and whole again.
God Bless you and your family.
Florence C. Allen
Dear Jack,
Thank you for showing me how a man who love the Lord should live, even as you go through this very tough journey you have continued to minister to us through how you have handled the whole thing and your reflections are very much treasured. Now even as you are nearing the end of your journey, you have again set a most heartening example of how one should face the end of one's journey. Thank you for being a dear friend and mentor to me.
In His Grip
Andrew Goh
Jack, your writing on anger is most helpful. Facing life threatening illness and death almost with certainty foments anger. Denial and hiding from this reality then robs us of God’s comforting grace. In that place there is no peace.
By example, asking God to keep anger from threatening to rob you of your time left gives us all a footpath to follow. It is the footpath of Jesus that you bare witness. Thank you for sharing. Skip
Dear Dr.Jack,
I saw this in a catalog I received recently and I immediately thought of you.
What Cancer Cannot Do...
It Cannot...
invade the soul
suppress memories
kill friendship
destroy peace
conquer the spirit
shatter hope
cripple love
corrode faith
steal eternal life
silence courage
Thank you for the blessings of your updates. I thank God for letting me know you and call you "Friend".
With love,
Sheryl
What a true inspiration you have been and continue to be! IF this is goodbye, it is only for a season. With love...david yeaman
Jack,
You are truly an amazing person, and it's difficult to find words to express how much you have meant to us over the years.
I'll never forget when you approached us just after the service one Sunday at Hendricks Avenue Baptist (we had been visiting for some time)... and smiling, you asked me what kind of arm-twisting it was going to take to get us to finally join the church. The way you did that cracked me up, and retelling the story here has made me laugh about it all over again, to the point of bringing tears to my eyes...
I think the way you asked that question with love was what made me finally realize that HAB was already our church home, and we walked down the aisle and joined the following Sunday.
What a ride it has been over the years since we have been a part of HAB. If I try to imagine what it would have been like had never joined, I am left with an empty feeling.
Jack, thanks for your gentle "arm twisting" on that Sunday morning about 15 years ago. What a wonderful talent you have for reaching people, even now.
With thanks and love,
Tim Rucci
Hello, Snells.
We are thinking of you all and praying for you. We know this part of your journey is so difficult.
I have taken ritalin for the MS fatque and it seemed to help me too. Although, could have also been in my mind since I'm easily lead but that was plenty for me. lol
Terri is feeling great and doing well. She is strong like our Mother. I admir her every day.
We love ya'll and are thankful to have each of you in our lives.
Love always. Sherri Howard Stratton
Hi Jack and Anita-
Throughout these months we have communicated about faith hope and love being the three things that endure...it's really true isn't it? Your words and actions are testimony to that. And to the truth of which of those three is the greatest. You are living testimonies to love for each other, your love for your family, your love for your friends, your love for life, your loe for yoru ministry and for the peole of this world, and your love for your Lord. And God's great love for you shines through all of these.
I appreciate you - your love - your honesty througout this journey - and all the footprints you have left and conitnue to leave in my life.
I love you both-
Amy (Derrick)
Tom and I continue to keep you and Anita in our prayers.
We were so thankful you were able to participate in the commissioning service in D.C.
You continue to be an inspiration to us all.
Our love, Tom and Elnora Pinner
Jack and Anita,
Dianne and I cannot express our feelings for you both in words. You know that we love you both and you are continully in our prayers. May God bless you both in this hour of your need.
Doug Aiken
As i recall, just as we opened the door to enter the sanctuary at the start of our wedding (11/23/96) in St. Simons, you said "Here we go". And go we did...2 children later, we're still on the move...
It sounds like the lord will soon say the same to you. I hate it for you from the perspective of the earthly anger you've explained so well today, and i hate it for your family, but we spend our entire lives preparing to enter heaven, so i'm also thrilled for you. I hope that sounds right!!
I've read your posts from work most of the year and have drawn comfort and inspiration from them. Your decision to share in this manner with all of us is something i will always value.
Take some comfort in knowing that few men who've ever walked this earth could have possibly been as good for it and its inhabitants as you've been....i mean that with absolute sincerity....and i have no doubt whatsoever that those who you've touched will carry on your good works and efforts to reach people for the lord - don't leave this world worried about that....
Enough rambling from me, someone who really doesn't know you well!! I continue to pray for you and love you, Phil Brown
Jack,
Though infirm of body, you've held firm of spirit through all the entries of these pages. That is no different now as you look death in the face, and share with us what you see. You see reason to exercise caution lest your anger interfere with your living these last days to their fullest! -- Again I spoke of you today to a patient. "I have this friend who is about to die soon, and he says it's okay to be sad, even angry, but he says that should not stop you from being thankful for every day you have." He nodded his head in silence (he had been weeping). Then moments later my own eyes teared when he said, "Tell your friend I feel better because of what he said." I promised I would. His loss is that his parents have just divorced, and he, my patient, is feeling like he'll never get over it. He's doing pretty good actually, at the tender age of nine. Better yet, thanks to your example, Jack. -- As always, I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.
Joel Hitt
We thank our God always on every remembrance of you. Our lives are better, our faith is stronger and our love is deeper because of our Christian journey with you. We will see you on the other side, our dear and cherished friend.
Love to You and Anita,
James and Carolyn Hale Cubbedge
You are loved and being thought of today and always... :)
Wanted to share a devotional that was sent to me...
Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
James 4:14
Life is filled with uncertainties. We make plans and set a course for our life, as we should but we cannot exclude God from the planning process. We count on tomorrow always being there and things going pretty much as we expect. Yet if we were to live each moment as if it were our last, most likely we would be living differently. Our priorities would shift and many the things that absorb our time and thoughts today may become inconsequential. The truth is that sometimes tomorrow doesn’t come. It is good to reflect on our actions and motives and be reminded of our dependence on God for our every breath, every moment of every day.
Prayer
Lord, every moment is in Your hands. I have ideas for my life and plans that I hope are fulfilled. Remind me today that every moment is precious and to live that moment as if it were my last. Life is unpredictable but You are not. Let Your love capture my every thought so my life reflects You, Amen.
~Jennifer (Hanson) Closson & Family
Dearest Jack and Anita,
My heart aches as I read your reflections, still wishing your reality was different. We are home now after our whirlwind trip to the States. I wish we had had the time to do more than talk with you briefly in D.C. It was very good to see you both. Jack, I did enjoy seeing you scurrying around with your special scooter. More of us might have made to sessions on time had we had such transportation! Your commitment to what you do has been so obvious as you have continued on around and over obstacles that would have stopped most people. You have a great deal of determination. Watching you in DC, I couldn't help thinking "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Life doesn't seem very fair right now and my heart goes out to all of you, Stephanie and Charley included. I pray that God might give you all the strength you need in the coming days, peace that passes all understanding, comfort from unexpected sources as you need it. We love you!
Cindy Ring Ruble
Dear Jack,
I have been putting this off, and I'm not sure why - I know time is short... It's probably because everytime I read your blogs and the comments, I felt everyone had said what I've been feeling. You're an inspiration... we love you... you are such a good role model... and all are true from me and my family.
You always seemed to be there when we needed you and you still are - this is so hard for everyone to deal with. It's never easy to say good bye to a loved one, which of course you are to many people here in Jax as well as worldwide. I remember when Mom was sick (and she did not survive as long as you have, although she fought as hard as you have!), I always wanted to 'pick her brain' about how to handle certain situations. She shared a lot and I wish I had captured somewhere at the time what she did share. I'm so glad I will have your words to go back to when I need them later.
I still find myself 'talking' to her - I know she's a guardian angel to me, Dave, Dad and especially my sweet Hannah. Although Hannah was barely 1 when Mom left us, I've talked so much about her that Hannah talks about her as if she knew her too (smile!). You will be that way for your family and so many others as well.
So I guess it's time that I say the same things too - You're an inspiration... we love you... you are such a good role model... and we will continue to remember you and your whole family for the impact you have all made on our lives.
Love to you and the family,
Dawn Adams Gray
Dear Jack,
You are an amazing man! Your words throughout these months are such a reflection of how you have lived your whole life. Your willingness to share your journey has been so unselfish and generous. You and Anita have served others in so many different ways, and you continue that ministry even now. If only all of us could leave this earth having impacted so many in such a wonderful way! You inspire and challenge us all! When you are called home I know you will hear "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." I am filled with thanks for tba those many years ago. I hope you know how much the Scotts love the Snells!
Love,
Brenda
Jack
Once again I thank God for you. I am amazed at your strength and most of all your wisdom. Your words are so comforting and give us hope. I know I have been, and continue to be blessed by you.
Thank You Jack
You are truly an inspiration
Mark
Dear Jack - never, ever, let it be said that you've lost any ground in your battle. With God's help yours indeed is the victory, which will remain an everlasting inspiration to those of us who have been privileged to come this far with you along your journey.
I've just pressed the wrong key, which signed me off, but wanted very much to say that our loving prayers continue for you, Anita, Stephanie and Charley.
Brian and Jen (UK).
Dear Jack and Anita,
You have been a most encouraging inspiration. My prayers and love are with you.
Love,
Lye Lin
Jack,
Barbara and I will always cherish the time we spent working with you at HAB. You have been an inspiration to us all along the way, and we love you greatly.
Barbara and Grady Snowden
Hi Dr. Jack,
I've just read your blog and your words of wisdom regarding anger. I just want to encourage you to remain strong and enjoy the blessings of each day, which I know you will do anyway. Your words and courage are such an inspiration for all of us.
God bless you,
Beverly Connell
Greenwood School
Jack and Anita -
You know, every time I post a comment, I have the faint hope that I might come close to saying what I really want to say. I have decided that the words I am looking for have not yet been invented. (I am actually now sitting here thinking that we live in a world where "googled" is now a verb...and I still can't find the words I need?)
Late next week I will "celebrate" the 5th month of waiting for my daughter. So much of my thinking during this wait hinges on what I dream for her. A few days ago, I was sort of daydreaming about having her home, and I was thinking about baby dedications. I remembered the first time I heard the one used at HAB that includes the covenant to "tell the stories of faith again and again until she paints it, sings its, dances it..." (Ok, so I probably butchered the line...but I LOVE the words of that particular dedication!) I want you both to know that when I am telling "the stories of faith" to my little one someday, you will always be a part of those stories - whether we are talking about what Christian service really should look like, or what it means to face uncertainty with grace and faith.
I am glad you wrote about the anger part of this experience - because I do have to tell you, there are moments when "raging fury" would describe how it makes me feel for you to be living with this. But as always, you remind me that there is always a choice in how you choose to face whatever's coming.
Thank you for the privilege of calling you my friends - I am different, and better, for knowing you.
I love you!
Laurie
Dear PP Jack,
We here in Rotary.....you know the rest of that song!
Thank you for your kindness to me as I began my career being the Rotary Executive Secretary. We have missed you since you moved and were very saddened to learn of your illness. God has handed you a most serious challenge and you have graciously let others in to learn all there is to know about this process.
Please know that all of your friends in the South Jacksonville Rotary club hold you close in thought and prayer.
I will post your website in this week's edition of The Gear so everyone can "stop by" and check in on you too.
Would you mind sending us an address so we can send you cards? If so, please send it to sjaxrotary@aol.com
Sincerely,
Patti Chapman
Executive Secretary
South Jacksonville Rotary
Dear Jack:
words can not say enough about what I feel for you and your family. You were always the rock at HAB. I remember sitting in your office and telling you how proud I was that you took the call for CBF, even though I knew it meant we would not have you as our rock any longer. Now your time is near and you have an even greater calling. I think of the time you came to the hospital when Wayne and I were both there, and how you took care of Darrell and Stephanie who were running amuck all over the hosptial - you helped them get taken care of and then came back and took care of us.. I miss what we all had at HAB so much during your years of service..You and Anita are two of the finest people that I have ever known... please know that you have touched so many lives over the years and that you have been a good and faithful servant of the Lord. As everyone else has said words will never be enough.. so Love to you and your family always, Elaine
Jack and Anita:
I drive by Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church often and always think of you. The remodeling and addition still looks wonderful. Landscaping and other enhancements are always being added. The place you helped build and shepherd is doing very well. You should be very proud! We are thinking of you in your time of need. You have not been forgotten.
Regards,
Dean Scott
Jacksonville, Florida
Dear Jack:
Reading your site is such an inspiration of courage and testimony to your (our) faith. I am grateful that you still remain as comfortable as you report, and that God continues to bless you with the ability to inspire us all.
We miss you here in Jacksonville. You were one of the earlier Presidents of our Rotary Club when I joined, and meetings just don't feel the same without you.
May God keep you in the palm of his hand, Jack, and blessings to your family, as well.
Fondly,
Richard C. Mullens, DDS
Dear Jack, My heart grows heavy when I think that your time on this earth is most likely coming to a close soon and there will be no more hugs and big smiles of greeting from you in this lifetime.
You have been such a special part of my life over the past 39 years...fun memories of your family when I was just a little girl in Avondale Estates and then hearing your name in college and having Dr. Gaddy suggest I check out HAB when I told him I was moving to Jacksonville and needed to find a church home. I will always remember the delight you showed when I reintroduced myself to you that first Sunday I visited---and I never went any where else. The times you and Anita welcomed me in your home and made me feel so loved and wanted. I thank you for that.
I will always remember you coming to Atlanta to comfort me and my family when we needed it the most in our time of loss and mourning. Thank you.
You were there in so many of our "life moments"--from marriage to birth to death and the times between. You have been such a part of our lives. Thank you for loving me and my family in such a special way. Please know that we have loved you, too! And still do!!
We are so thankful that even in this illness you are still ministering to others and showing Jesus in your life and heart. Thank you for that.
I write this in love and gratitude and praises to God for your life, your love and your ministry to those of us that have been blessed to have had you in our lives.
With hugs and appreciation.
Lori
I owe Jack a debt of gratitude, as he unknowingly showed me that there were much more important things in life than being a Baptist. Thanks to him, I felt the need to leave the Baptist world in 2001, when I joined Mandarin Christian Church in Jacksonville, which is today known as Christ's Church-Mandarin. Unbelieveable opportunities began to come my way, and numerous doors opened for my ministry and service, including the one that opened and allowed me to be called into ministry with B.G.E.A.
Nowadays, as I think back on all those individuals (some 150,000+) that I've seen make decisions for Christ at B.G.E.A. events, I'm extremely thankful that Jack helped me to see the real reason that God placed me on this earth. I understand more than ever the need to be a child of God first and foremost.
I also owe Jack a debt of gratitude that he instilled in me a heart for missions. I'm now part of a mission minded congregation that does amazing things in the world of missions each and every year. Probably due to what Jack has instilled in me is the reason that I continue to try to find an opportunity for my ministry with B.G.E.A. to one day become more mission related, and less evangelism related; but I'm extremely happy and blessed to be able to serve where He has called me to serve.
THANKS Jack for all that you've instilled in me over the years! Your friendship has been a treasured blessings.
Thankful & Prayerful Thoughts & Blessings,
Stan Lambert
Jack--
It is "church time" in NC and I am not there due to illness generated from the excessive heat of last week. Chainsaws and extreme heat are guaranteed to make a 61 year old weak.
Instead of being in church I spend this time offering prayers for you and Anita that you faith continue to sustain you and the power of God and modern medicine grant a peaceful relief from pain.
We are with you all the way!!
Gene & Lonya Scarborough
We keep you close in thought and prayer as you near your transition. Thank you for the man that you are and for the example and inspiration you will continue to be as you reach your reward.
Our love and support to you and all of your family continue. Peace be with you.
Love,
Karen K. Poore and Lillian Knight
Dear Dr. Jack & Anita,
With much love and appreciation for who you are and what you have meant to us and our family.
Our thoughts and prayers are of you and Anita everyday! Thank you again for all the sermons, encouragement, friendship, hugs and love for all these years.
The Angels will be singing "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" one day soon in your honor. We love you dear friend.
Sheryl & Chuck
Well, I don't know if this will help, but as I sit here reading your words and the comments of everyone else, it occurs to me that God is super-cool. We all know He doesn't want this for you, but He made it a good thing anyway. Look how He's used you to minister to all of us! He knew what He was doing when He allowed this cancer to come into you. He could have saved you from it, but you've lived such a good and God-centric life that He knew you'd show us how to do this dying thing the right way.
It occurs to me that sounds a bit callus, but what I mean is that there are very few people who could get this right. He is still using you! That's a good thing. Even when you feel weak and tired, He's saying, "Look!! Look at him go! THIS is what it's all about." And that's gotta feel pretty good...to hear some praise from good ol' Dad.
So...way to go! Keep running. You can't see the end yet, so you don't get to stop. :) We're all cheering you on.
With much love.
Elise
God bless you Dr. Jack. Your words on anger are so true, and we have dealt with this emotion personally with my father and husband. Remain faithful as you head toward your heavenly home. You have blessed us forever!
With love and prayers,
Beverly Connell
Jack and Anita,
We have been following your journey with prayer and loving concern. It is, indeed, a journey you both are taking. We have both tried several times to post comments and have not been successful. I hope this reaches you. Your faith and love has been so evident these past few month, an inspiration to all.
Love,
Joan & Wesley Kirkland
Thinking of you, Jack and Anita.
I pray for you as you show unbelievable courage in the "living of these days "!!!
Love ,
Ann K.
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